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Emma Watson And Feminism For Men

Emma Watson spoke at the UN on Saturday, September 20, 2014, and somehow I didn't see any references to it until today, Wednesday, September 24. I felt it was a lovely speech and I am in near-complete agreement. You can read the text of the speech here.

I was first introduced to feminism my freshman year of college. I loved college. Suddenly nerdiness was cool and I had my pick of smart guys. I loved dating. I loved flirting. I loved guys! The last thing I would have done is join a movement that was disadvantageous in any way to guys.

Now I'm older and more crotchety and I wouldn't care. If the only way to move women one up was to put guys one down, I would say, "Too bad guys, you've had your chance, now it's our turn". But in college? I would not have thought that fair.

So why did I become a feminist pretty much from the moment the concept was introduced? Because it was and is fair. Yes, we want equal opportunity. Yes, we want equal rights to expression. Yes, we want to fulfill our potential. But look at how guys were limited: Back in the day, if you guys studied or worked as a nurse or a teacher or a writer or a secretary or an actor or a dancer or a florist, you were suspect. If you were soft, you were suspect. If you had nice hair, you were suspect. If you were too concerned about your clothes, you were suspect. If you were religious or otherwise too interested in spirituality, you were suspect. If you were clean or kind or considerate or a good listener, you were suspect. If you were a stay-at-home dad or even worked fewer hours to nurture your children, you were suspect. If you never played sports, you were suspect.

What were you suspected of? Feminine traits! Ooooh, nooooo!!!!! And of course the barely-whispered subtext, "you might be gay, shshshsshh...."

So sure, I wanted to be a truck driver or a landscape artist or a professor or a comedian.

But I wanted you guys to be the things that excited your imaginations too. No matter how nontraditional. I was an enthusiastic feminist by my second week of college.

Did it slow down my dating? Not one iota. Did it stop my flirting? Not one bit. Did guys mind? Never. We had some long talks about what feminism meant, and once they understood, they were up for it (sometimes in more ways than one!).

How sad that decades later, Emma Watson has to plow some of this same ground. She sometimes says it better than me, so at this point I will yield her the floor.

Again, the full text of her remarks is available at HeForShe. Pretty much; I noted a few typos. There are also several videos at YouTube where I encourage you to listen to her speech. Some highlights (my comments in parentheses):

"...the more I have talked about feminism the more I’ve realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.... this has to stop." (Feminism as man-hating is definitely a misunderstanding.)

"Feminism by definition is: 'The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes'".

"Women are choosing not to identify as feminist. Apparently I am among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, anti-men, and unattractive." (No, Emma, I'm pretty sure most men won't find you unattractive!)

"No country in the world can yet say they have achieved gender equality." (How sad and frustrating.)

"Men – I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation.... Men don’t have the benefits of equality either."

(She provides an excellent discussion of how men are hurt by stereotypes, but I don't want to quote too much.)

"We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled. Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong."

"In ... my moments of doubt I’ve told myself firmly – if not me, who, if not now, when.... I am inviting you to step forward, to be seen to speak up - and to ask yourself if not me, who, if not now, when."

There is plenty more to her speech, and you may think other parts are your own personal highlights. So please take the time to read the whole transcript or to listen to Emma's speech; of course she has a beautiful look and accent, so that is probably the most enjoyable way.

Men, if you haven't been invited before to join the feminist movement, please consider yourselves invited now. It irks me a little that women have not completed this fight alone, that our voices have often been dismissed as unimportant or uninformed. But I stand up for the rights of blacks while not being a part of that minority myself. So I suppose this is no different. We need the majority of good-hearted people to stand up for diversity and potential in all their glory. Women, feminism is not a dirty word. Guys, join us. It's past time. If not you, who; if not now, when?

Also published at Daily Kos.



© Copyright Elena Carlena September 24, 2014. All rights reserved.